The U.S. Government Wants to Know if you are Gay Married

What a fascinating moment in U.S. history.  In some states a person can marry someone of the same sex, in others they cannot.  Tax programs trying to help people file their federal and state taxes need to record both kinds of marriages because they collect information for both tax returns simultaneously in order to reduce the time burden on the client. 

But why not just ask people if they were married?  Perhaps the people who designed these questions thought that the term “marriage” is so deeply associated with heterosexuality that it wouldn’t occur to people who were married to someone of the same sex to check it.  Then again, I would think that those gay couples who are legally married would be especially cognizant of their right to check the “marriage” box whether same-sex marriage was specified or not. 

Or are there different tax rules applied to gay and straight marriage?

In any case, if we’re going to separate homo- and hetero-marriage, why not label “marriage” as “opposite-sex marriage” or “other-sex marriage”?  Why normalize heterosexual marriage (real marriage, you know, the original marriage, marriage marriage!) and mark homosexual marriage (the gay kind, duh, so gay)?

I don’t know what they were thinking… but it’s fascinating.

[source: http://contexts.org/socimages/2010/04/15/the-u-s-government-wants-to-know-if-you-are-gay-married/]

posted by scantron
Comments (View) -|- Tags: gay marriage, same-sex marriage, taxes,
TAKE ACTION! HRC: Sign Our Petition for Marriage Equality

projectqueer:

Washington, D.C. has now joined five states in allowing same-sex couples to marry. Other states have legal protections for domestic partnerships, civil unions, or recognize same-sex spouses who have married in another state.

Yet all same-sex couples are still denied the full federal rights of marriage – hospital visitation, Social Security benefits, equal treatment under U.S. immigration laws, the right to take leave to care for a spouse, and more.

This civil rights struggle is simply about day-to-day life. Two people who are in committed, loving relationships should be able to protect each other with basic legal rights and safeguards.

More than a million people have already signed this petition. Sign and help us reach 2 million!

After you’ve signed the petition, you’ll have an opportunity to send a note of congratulations to some of Washington’s newest newlywed couples!

posted by scantron
Vermont legalizes gay marriage with veto override

MONTPELIER, Vt. (AP) — Vermont has become the fourth state to legalize gay marriage — and the first to do so with a legislature’s vote.

The Legislature voted Tuesday to override Gov. Jim Douglas’ veto of a bill allowing gays and lesbians to marry. The vote was 23-5 to override in the state Senate and 100-49 to override in the House. Under Vermont law, two-thirds of each chamber had to vote for override.

The vote came nine years after Vermont adopted its first-in-the-nation civil unions law.

It’s now the fourth state to permit same-sex marriage. Massachusetts, Connecticut and Iowa are the others. Their approval of gay marriage came from the courts.

posted by scantron
Comments (View) -|- Tags: same-sex marriage, gay marriage, Vermont, politics, news,
my trip to new mexico

A few weeks ago, I went to New Mexico. It was very emotional to say the least. My dad, grandma (my dad’s mom) and I went out there to visit my great grandma (my dad’s mom’s mom) and my great uncle (my dad’s mom’s brother). It was pretty depressing knowing that my great grandma is going to pass away pretty soon, but it was also really nice to see that she is very healthy and still able to walk around and play scrabble (and kick my ass!). She showed me photo albums of her when she was young. Photos dating back to the 1920s. It was really cool to see those and hear the stories associated with them.

When I hang out with my family, I always get very reflective. I’m very different from my family, especially my dad’s side. My dad is a white American who was born and raised on Long Island. He lived his whole life with priviledge where, on the other hand, my mom, younger brother and I can not attest to having the same types of priviledges he experienced. Maybe this is why I have always found myself more connected with my mom, because I saw her struggling through things beyond her control like her skin color or the fact that her english wasn’t (and still isn’t) very good, or the fact that she never finished school. My dad has never known what it’s like to be a minority.

During my trip, I tried to get him to relate me. I tried to get him to see what same-sex marriage really means. (He told me he doesn’t agree with it, “marriage is only for a man and a woman.”) He said he believed in civil unions (where have we heard that one before?) and I told him that civil unions do not provide the same benefits and legal rights as marriages. He didn’t believe me. I tried to show him how these things affect me and my life. I explained to him that I am so passionate about activism because of the fact that these things affect my life. It’s easy for him to turn off the tv or skip over sections of the newspaper because he can’t relate to things, but I want him to see an article about Gay Rights and associate that with how it will play out in his own daughter’s life.

Later we were at the library and I was asking my dad about my taxes, asking him if I would get a lot back this year. He said “probably not, because you’re single” and I said “Well, what if me and Babe Useless wanted to file our taxes together? How do we go about doing that?” He said “Well.. I think you’d have to be married,” and I responded with, “And that’s what the debate is all about!” So I think my efforts are starting to help him see that it’s a lot more than just having a wedding in a church (and trust me, I am the last person on earth who wants to get tied in to a religious ceremony) but I do want him to see that religion shouldn’t influence our government and vice versa.

Let me tell you, it was an extremely emotional task. I ended up crying like a crazy person in front of him. You know, the type of crying that makes your eyes red and sting for hours afterwards? I know I shouldn’t get so frustrated about it, but it is really important for me that my family realizes that I am (along with every other queer person) being discriminated against every day because of who I am whether its indirect or direct discrimination.

posted by scantron
What are you protecting?

North Carolina has carved its history as the progressive rabble-rouser of the South. As such, being a citizen of North Carolina affords you certain dignities, one of which is being able to recite your state’s rich history to anyone willing to listen. Such momentous events include acting as the birthplace of the first English child in the ‘New World’, being the last state to join the Confederacy in the Civil War, being the birthplace of modern aviation, and hosting the Greensboro Race Riots. North Carolina has truly been on the forefront of free-thinking and diversity in the South. Our citizens do not compromise their integrity in order to appease outside pressures. I am proud to have been raised in such a culturally and historically diverse area. It is for these reasons I am disturbed by the political grandstanding and controversy inducing measures being utilized under the guise of “protecting” marriage in the midst of skyrocketing unemployment, a faulty health care system, the ailing economy and general inequalities mounting in every section of our society.

Republican Representative Paul Stam (Wake County) is introducing yet another Constitutional Amendment restricting marriage in our state. A version of this bill has been introduced into the legislature for each of the last four sessions, albeit unsuccessfully. However, this has not stopped the Republican caucus in North Carolina from continuously trying to pass an Amendment.

The redundancy of trying to introduce such an amendment is that our state already recognizes the codified Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) law in place within the state and federal government. This law (N.C. Gen. Stat. § 51-1.2) defines marriage as strictly between a man and a woman. It goes on to state that marriages between same-sex couples will not be recognized, even if such marriages are performed out of state. This leaves the informed citizen wondering: Why try to pass a new amendment to our State Constitution when it is already covered in our general statutes?

The answer to this question is purely political. North Carolina has been leaninging Democratic ever since Ronald Reagan left office in 1988. Most recently, Barack Obama carried North Carolina, turning the state ‘blue’ for the first time in 30 years. The ideals of freedom and knowledge have always been basic tenets of our state, but when divisive politic is introduced, controversy is sure to follow. Republicans see their grip on North Carolina weakening, and know that by creating controversy they are making themselves seem relevant.

Controversy, on the whole, breeds interest as well as anger and nothing brings about more controversy then social issues such as equal rights for minorities. In order to stay relevant, Republicans turn to issues of ‘morality’, claiming superiority based on their shared beliefs. Arguing moral versus immoral in these cases is usually fruitless because certain beliefs are deeply engrained in Southern history and religion. But this is not the point: the point is to acknowledge that by amending our Constitution, we are sending a message of intolerance and hate to a minority group.

The very essence of our Constitution is to protect people’s rights, not take them away. As a means of bringing this argument into context, it was once illegal for African Americans to get married in North Carolina. Years later, people of different races and ethnicities were also barred from marrying outside of their own race. The shocking truth is that these actions were illegal until 1967! The Supreme Court ruled in Loving v. Virginia (1967) that, “Marriage is one of the ‘basic civil rights of man,’ fundamental to our very existence and survival….” This court case overturned all laws banning interracial marriage. This is one of the beauties of our laws and our Constitution; they are a living, breathing entity. There is a delicate balance of public opinion and protection inherent in the lawmaking process, but my hope is that our state is willing to protect its minority groups.

Being a homosexual born and raised in North Carolina, I have a bias of opinion when it comes to issues that so directly affect me. However, in this instance, I have no agenda in attacking the decisions already made by our State. I respect the outcome and the process because I understand that this is a measure that, at the time, was wholly supported by the public. However, we must not forget that the public also wholly supported Jim Crow laws, poll taxes and race restrictions in the times they were written. But now, with the enormous state budget deficits, the fact that one in six North Carolinians are without health insurance, and 1.5 million North Carolinians are at or below the poverty level, don’t you think its time we stopped focusing on discriminating against a small segment of people and started helping those in need?

The political process is a powerful one, and I believe if we can stop focusing on partisan politics, and controversial measures, we can focus on our educational systems, health care issues and poverty alleviation. Denying same-sex marriage should not take precedence over topics that need attention now. Let’s not waste time on issues that will just create controversy. Let us use our time wisely to find new ways to create jobs and lower the poverty levels in our state.

James Miller was born in Virginia Beach, VA, moved to the Outer Banks of North Carolina early in his childhood. Graduating from Currituck County High School in 2002, he decided to attend UNCW. Graduating Magna Cum Laude in 2006 with a BA in Philosophy and Religion, and a BS in Business Administration Marketing, James worked in the private business sector for two years. During that time, James worked to connect the LGBT Community of the Outer Banks with the rest of the state by starting OutOBX, an online educational community. James moved to Boston after being accepted into the Heller School for Social Policy and Management at Brandeis University and is currently pursuing his Masters of Public Policy in LGBT Activism. He is 25 and single.
posted by guestqueer
“ I am surprised to find myself where I am now. I never would have thought that I would be one of those people who needed to stand up and ask for fair and equal treatment ”
— - Dean Hara, one of the plaintiffs in the DOMA challenge suit filed by GLAD
posted by scantron
Comments (View) -|- Tags: quote, DOMA, same-sex marriage, rights, politics,
Rowan board votes in favor of anti-gay marriage resolution

SALISBURY, N.C. — More than 100 people turned out to the Monday, Feb. 16 evening meeting of the Rowan County Board of Commissioners as elected officials took up the issue of same-sex marriage. In a standing-room-only board chambers, members of the board voted unanimously to approve a resolution urging the North Carolina General Assembly to pass a state constitutional amendment banning any relationship recognition for same-sex couples. Read More at Q-Notes.

posted by scantron
All You Need Is Love, Right?

I once remember thinking as a child that marriage was a ceremony in which two people who loved each other could make a commitment before friends, family and God, that “I am my beloved’s and my beloved is mine.” When my dad, in the role of Justice of the Peace, performed ceremonies, he would often use the passage from First Corinthians in which Paul tells us what love is, and that “faith, hope, love abide, these three: and the greatest of these is love.”

I saw how my parents, married for 53 years until death did them part, tested and loved each other. Even when there were struggles in their relationship, the fact was that they still did love and care about each other, and that’s why they could forgive the shortcomings and misunderstandings of loving another human being.

And so, you can see, I really believed for the longest time that the Beatles were right: all you need is love! But that’s not true. Not with marriage. And not in the reality of being gay in the United States.

Because while countless numbers of people are in loving relationships with members of the same-sex, our love…which does dare to speak its name…is nonetheless silenced by the law. The federal government under the Defense of Marriage Act (DOMA) denies us access to the 1,138 laws that govern everything from social security benefits of a surviving spouse to making medical decisions at a time of emergency and joint filing of taxes and bankruptcy. Here in the Overcast State of Florida, our relationships are now UNrecognized by the state constitution. A popular vote of the people allowed the majority to negate the relationships of a minority group. And, despite promises made in front of the Florida Supreme Court by Mat Staver of the Liberty Counsel, the proponents of this prejudice are now trying to take away what little rights DO exist in some communities. For example, Gainesville’s Domestic Partnership law is being put to a popular vote next month.





In California, where 18,000 same-sex couples entered into married relationships this past summer, neo-conservative Ken Starr is attempting to get the court to nullify those marriage certificates. If you click on the video by the Courage Campaign, I ask you to look closely at some of these couples. And ask yourself, “Why can’t they be allowed to be with their beloved?” And notice how many of these couples already have children. What would Mr. Starr propose to do with those kids who would suddenly see their parents relationship invalidated by the state that collects taxes from these families?

Not every gay person wants to get married, just like not every straight person wants to get married. The difference is that the straight person at least has an option. An option I would like to have, too.

Susan Gage is a former public radio journalist, now licenced massage therapist. Fellow thesbian and member of the Tallahassee’s Mickee Faust Club since 1991. Gage is a graduate of Governor Dummer Academy, University of Missouri-Columbia School of Journalism, and Florida School of Massage in Gainesville. Out and proud and a cradle Episcopalian.  If that rocks your world, then grab hold of the handrail: it’ll be OK. For more good reads,check our her “Wake Up And Live” blog here!

Originally posted Feb, 8, 2009

posted by guestqueer
Gaying up the Divorce Scene

On The Colbert Report last night the “Threat Down” series part of the show listed Gay Divorce as number 2! I’m feeling the sarcasm already…but I’m glad people are talking about it on a national level as it was in reference to a lesbian couple married in Canada, that sought out a divorce in New Jersey or was it the couple from Massachusetts?

In the case of our New Jersey couple, if states like NJ can recognize same-sex marriage as bonafide [when performed] like fellow State Superior Court Judge Mary Jacobson did, imagine the turn around for all things legal that same-sex couples struggle with on joint-ventures like buying a house, health insurance, or even doing those dreadful taxes. Today same-sex couples can legally marry in Massachusetts and Connecticut, while civil unions are recognized in Vermont, Connecticut, New Jersey and New Hampshire.

As of last Friday, a bill was introduced in the Vermont Legislature to legalize gay marriage, as fellow Vermontqueers have been enjoying civil unions for the past nine years. We’ll see what happens! The flip side to all of this raises an important issue, just like the Associated Press outlined “states that don’t recognize gay marriage have begun grappling with how to deal with gay divorces.” America’s gaying up the divorce scene and well, our legal systems don’t even know how to address it on a state or federal level, just yet!

Divorces happen. A lot, in fact. My parents happen to be divorced. Being gay, on the other hand, doesn’t just happen. I found an article “Lowest Divorce Rates in States Favorable to Gay Partnerships” by Ex-Gay Watch that highlights divorce and same-sex marriage’s role in Massachusetts. According to DivorceRate.com, the chart below shows the distribution of the statement about how “50% of all American marriages end in divorce”.


divorce rates

For more statistical information about US divorce rates by state and current US Census stats.


It’s no surprise that Northern Europe was on the ball and recognized certain variations of same-sex marriage. In 1989, Denmark was the first country to institute legislation granting registered same-sex partners the same rights as married couples although church weddings are not allowed. Norway, Sweden and Iceland all enacted similar legislation in 1996, and Finland followed suit six years later. Then the Netherlands became the first country to offer full civil marriage rights to gay couples in 2001. Other countries that have some variation of gay marriage include: Belgium, Spain (and adopt children!), Germany, France, Luxembourg and Britain.

Source: BBC.com “Gay marriage around the globe” 22 Dec 2005.

posted by teknacolorninja
Comments (View) -|- Tags: gay, lesbian, queer, marriage, same-sex marriage, divorce,
“

In an historic decision handed down Wednesday, Colombia’s Constitutional Court ruled same-sex couples must be granted the same rights as heterosexuals in common-law marriages.

The court’s decision means Colombia’s gay couples will be awarded dozens of rights that straight, unmarried couples have enjoyed for years and follows other recent rulings that have won the nation’s same-sex couples inheritance, pension, health, and social security rights.

The Colombian LGBT rights group Colombia Diversa, human rights group Dejusticia, and the Group for Public Interest Rights from the University of the Andes were responsible for the successful suit, filed last April.

”
— Colombia Rules Gay Couples Must Be Granted Same Rights as Straight - Advocate.com
posted by scantron
Comments (View) -|- Tags: international, politics, same-sex marriage, colombia,
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