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it's finally OVER!
benefit for Equality NC
Be Yr Own Queero brings you the best in LGBTQ activism, politics and culture by focusing on the personal stories of queer individuals. We feel that it's important to have strong and supportive queer communities and we are creating those communities where they do not exist. Please feel free to share your thoughts and comments with us. read more
- Mustache Ride Anyone?
- Love the Fuzz
- What Does it Mean to 'Look' Lesbian?
episode 1
Be Yr Own Queero will be featuring the Surreal Advice Column brought to you by the Inbred Hybrid Collective. If you are familiar with Dan Savage or… Dali, then you are in for a treat. An odd combination? Well you’ll just have to see for yourself!
Got relationship problems? Having trouble coming out? Need some dating/sex advice?
Email your questions to inbredhybrid@gmail.com and you might see your question along with some down-to-earth advice on Be Yr Own Queero
posted by scantronStep 3: Don’t Be A Skank
If you skipped ahead to find out about hooking up when I introduced dating in Step 1, then you are probably a skank, and this step will be especially difficult for you. A skank is solely interested in measuring his/her/zer attractiveness by gettin’ busy with everyone they find moderately attractive (and even some they don’t). Dating and relationships are an important part of your queer life, so make them count. Having multiple sexual partners is not a crime (except in Tulsa), but always make sure you’re safe. Never let anyone pressure you to have sex without a condom, even if they seem perfectly clean. Who knows what dwells in another’s sexual fluids? It’s one of those mysteries better left unsolved, like The Case of the Crusty Tubesock in the Back of Your Brother’s Dresser.
When it comes to role models, queer relationships are sorely lacking because many of us grew up in heterosexual households and have little reflection of our desire in mainstream media. You need to be very picky about who you let influence you. Queer as Folk and The L Word, although titillating and endearingly melodramatic, are thoroughly removed from reality and are not shining examples of the power of queerdom. Likewise, RuPaul is not the poster child for transgender people. He’s the poster child for RuPaul, and sometimes sequins.
A special word of caution for bi-gals and lesbians: Katy Perry is not a role model. She is not empowering. She is an omen. It is a blessing to be able to kiss another woman, whether shapely or slender, and exploitative dips into lipstick lesbianism (that were more relevant and actual in 1995 when done by Jill Sobule who actually likes kissing women) are not admirable, no matter how much Out Magazine wants you to believe they are. Any girl who sees you as a commodity to kiss for the thrill of experience and nothing else should be kicked to the curb. And if you see Katy Perry, just kick her. (But make sure it’s not Zooey Deschanel first.)
Kevin Sparrow is a queer writer living in Chicago. Currently, Kevin is the editor of Cul de sac Magazine, an online blog dedicated to social justice and cultural analysis from an LGBT perspective.
posted by guestqueer
I know that my sister would get asked about her boyfriend, no beating around the bush. My Dad would be asked about his wife, not his “special spouse.” I’m out in most realms of my personal life in the hopes that I can make people that being gay is normal and that it is not a delicate, or even shameful, subject. I expect to be met halfway.
The New Gay: “Boyfriend” and “Girlfriend” Are Not Pejorative Terms
I was at a family reunion a few years ago and found myself in a similar situation. Most of my family asked my female cousin about her boyfriend and acted really interested in knowing more about him. While on the other hand, I had just recently met the raddest girl I’d met in a while and I had spent the past week or two hanging out with her in NYC prior to the reunion, but my family never really asked me about her unless I brought it up. They never ask me about my relationships in ways that acknowledge that yes, in fact, I am capable of having serious, stable and intimate relationships just the same as my hetero cousin can.
Instead, my girlfriends are always introduced and referenced as my “roommate”. And more times than I’d like, I stand there debating in my head whether or not I should I correct them. And more times than I’d like, I smile shyly and let it go.
But what am I really doing when I just let it slide? Do people think I am shameful of my sexuality and think they are doing me a favor by not outing me or causing me embarassment? Am I reinforcing their initial thoughts that homosexuality is still a taboo that shouldn’t be talked about?
The more that I think about it, the more honest I need to be with people who are close to me. I have an amazing girlfriend who I am so proud of and love very much. I shouldn’t belittle our relationship by allowing people to refer to us as “roommates”. I am not ashamed of my sexuality nor do I care about other people knowing about it, so why do I clam up in situations where instead I can create a dialogue?
This is one thing I plan to work on for myself in the next year. I want to be really open about discussing not only my sexuality, but anything really. The past few days have taught me that in order for me to be happy, I have to be really transparent and face the things that I am often times too scared to face. And I am lucky to have a great group of supportive friends to help me do so.
