Recently I’ve been planning a super awesome summer getaway to the West Coast for a visit and it got me thinking about why I had such a burning desire to go explore the Pacific NW. Other than the beautiful sites and outdoorsy lifestyle, we all know the real reason why I want to check out the lovely Portland and San Francisco. The queer meter shakes the Richter scale!

I know Wilmington, NC doesn’t come to mind when trying to find a hip, alternative queer community. But we’re definitely queer over here too! I remember telling a queer acquaintance of mine about how I was getting ready to make my move down to the Carolinas from Washington DC and she, having previously lived in Boston, was not convinced. Apparently North Carolina’s queer meter is shot.

When we have these widely recognized “queer cities” across the US, it’s easier to flock to a setting that already has a strong community, rather than build one up. Why does San Francisco have to be a queer mecca? Or for that matter, any densely populated area like Los Angeles, New York City, Seattle, Atlanta, Boston, Minneapolis, etc. that tend to have a higher percentage of LGTBQ identified adults. I’m just questioning the modern queer landscape of America.

We shouldn’t have to feel like there are only certain cities or areas to go and be exclusively queer. We should be able to feel comfortable and have strong inclusive communities in any town across the US. It’s not like the queer lifestyle only exists in these urban areas. And sure, these larger cities garner a reputation for being liberal and yes, the acceptance level is higher but there still is a struggle to be openly queer across the US.

Why can’t Wilmington, NC be a mecca for queers? I feel that regardless of the town you live in, we all should be able to have accepting and openly queer communities. Granted, not everyone is tolerant or accepting, especially in the Carolinas.

So how can we build up a queer community in a positve way? I suggest, that we all do some queer colonizing. A little bit of urban planning in your own neighborhood. Think about it. What if everyone you knew who was queer identified (questioning or in the closet too!) put up a rainbow flag in their neighborhood? How many flags would we see across America? How much more welcomed would one feel? It’s not imperialism I’m talking about here, it’s colonizing the queer America that already exists on the outskirts.

If we share our stories and show others what it’s like to be queer in America, we can help educate and offset the misconstrued queer American lifestyle. Together, we can build up the smaller LGTBQ communities that the majority of us already live in, or are thinking about leaving. I encourage larger queer communities to reach out to smaller ones and make rainbow bridges, because together we are stronger. Just because Wilmington’s scene isn’t that flaming yet, doesn’t mean it couldn’t happen. San Francisco didn’t become queer overnight. And yes, I will still go visit those big ole queer cities…but I also want to come home to a strong queer community right here in the Carolinas.